On feeling blue

Hi Guys I haven't written on here in so long. I wish I could get into a habit of writing more often, personally I think its easier to journal in my Private Journal. Why? I guess because its a judgment free zone, when things aren't going right I feel like I would be complaining. But I'm going to give blogging a fair shot.

     ON FEELING BLUE...
About a month ago I weaned myself of my anti depressant. I am not very proud that I was on one, and most people probably had no idea. After all I was only eighteen when I went on it, but the Doctors thought I would benefit from it. I was very depressed my senior year of HS and I am proud to say now a Sophomore in college I have come a long way. What I was scared of were my emotions. Anxiety is something that I always have delt with, but that year it was to much to handle. The medicine helped, along with therapy, yoga, and working out. I definitely don't think drugs are a miracle answer. I think its a collaboration, you cant take a pill and expect to be a new person, you've got to work at it, and that's what I did!

   I have been off my meds for about a month now, and the first three weeks were easy peasy for me. Not sure if it was because I was distracted, (I had sinus surgery) or if I was just feeling good in life. My Therapist, & no I'm not ashamed I talk to someone, had recommended exercise every day to keep my serotonin levels up. I was doing cardio every day the first few weeks of weaning off, and I felt on top of the world. No one could bring me down. Surgery came around and I was in so much pain, but was so happy and relaxed to have TWO WHOLE weeks of no work! Yaahoo! Then I went back to work, and just a few days I started my sophomore year in College.

  Talk about back to reality. Its been a rough few days, and I really gave myself no credit. I was constantly nagging on myself, why am I not feeling energetic? Why am I not excited about work and school? Why why why. I wont even lie I have been feeling depressed lately. Im not quite sure if its withdrawals, or just jumping back into life full force. I mean life is stressful, especially school. But I think this is all a learning lesson for me. You cant be happy all the time. In fact its normal to be sad sometimes. I was being so hard on myself to feel happy, be successful, to be the perfect me. Perfect is a crappy word I think. No one is perfect and perfect is actually pretty boring isn't it? In all seroiousness I have been happy before and I have been sad before, therefore I will be happy again. This little bump in the road will be in the past soon. It is definitely ok to "feel blue" but...
Life Goes On.